The Hugs

The rainy season has arrived. It’s typical winter weather in Vancouver at this time of year. I missed taking my walk after staying home for 2 days, so my husband and I got all geared up for the elements and drove to our favourite walking trail by the sea. It was drizzling all the way but the rain had stopped when we stepped out of our car. We have walked this path countless times, but I felt something different that day. Perhaps it was the exceptional purity and freshness of the air after the rain. We hardly met anyone along the trail. It’s unusual to see and hear the torrents of water cascading down the hill slopes on one side before they join the sea on the other side of the path. It seemed like everything had been cleansed. I was enjoying it all.

As we were walking back, we saw a couple of Steller’s jays on the top of a very tall tree on our left side. We hadn’t seen them for a while. Then, on our right, we saw a small bird with a round body perched on a lower branch. It started to sing as if it was serenading us as we walked by. As we continued forward, we saw a woman walking towards us with a dog at her side. We were both saying “Golden Retriever” when the dog suddenly ran at full speed towards us. I thought it was aiming for my husband, the dog magnet. Instead, it made a beeline towards me. It jumped up and touched my body with its front legs, apparently making contact. It then turned towards my husband and did the exact same thing to him. We both felt its affection and playfulness.

The woman came up and apologized for her dog’s behaviour. My husband and I were laughing and told her that we were both happy to have this vivacious creature greeting us so warmly. I felt so very loved! We found out that Charlie, the Golden Retriever, was a five-month old puppy. He continued to play with our umbrella and didn’t want to leave. I shared with his owner that I would have been scared in the past, not knowing much about dogs, but not anymore. I knew well that Leo, our son, had sent Charlie. That encounter with Charlie made our day.

On returning home, I sat in silence and the ‘aha’ moments came. Charlie was giving me and my husband hugs from Leo! This had not been the first time.

When our precious son and only child transitioned suddenly and unexpectedly at age 19, I had to take a long leave of absence from work. On returning, my office was inside an elementary school where I saw young children on a daily basis. It was very challenging emotionally. I would take a brisk walk on the trail beside the school whenever I could. I would often be greeted by unexpected visitors like a bunny, a young deer, and even birds who would sit quietly on a tree while I was talking with my son.

During one of those walks, I saw a woman pushing a stroller with three young children at her side. As we approached one another, we exchanged smiles and hellos. Then something unexpected happened. The shortest and probably the youngest child knelt down and put his small hand on my shoe.  Then he got up and raised his hands towards me. I was not sure what to do. The babysitter told me that he wanted a hug. I gladly bent down and held him in my arms. After our hug, we parted ways. I won’t ever forget how that blonde two-year-old toddler made me feel. So very loved! Something made me aware that Leo had given me a hug through the little boy.

Another instance…..

My husband and I were visiting a friend’s place. I asked Leo to come and join us. He’d been there in person with us for the first visit a few years ago. There used to be two older furry cats in the house. I remember they were quite aloof with everyone, but they would follow Leo around. They were all over him when he was working on the computer. Leo was allergic to their hair and the host who was a medical doctor had to give my son an antihistamine.

On this second visit, one of the cats had departed. As we settled down for tea, the remaining cat kept walking in front of me and when I gave him my attention, he stood up on his two hind legs. With his front legs stretched out and up, he was touching my upper arm. We were all quite astonished. I said to the others, “He’s giving me a message.” I have never had pets but I knew this is not what cats usually do to strangers. I knew instantly that my son was telling me he was right there with me and his dad. He was giving me a hug through the cat.

The Dream Visit

It was almost three years ago around this time of year. I had my very first dream visit from my son. I saw Leo with a group of young men and women going somewhere, like they were moving briskly in a parade. They were all dressed in bright and colourful attire. They were all smiling and the feeling was festive and joyful. It felt like there was music in the air. I saw my son with his peaceful and gentle smile. He looked serene and dignified. He was in a light blue jacket and presentable as usual. It seemed like he was accompanying these young people and he had a job to do. It didn’t seem like he was stopping for me and I was like a bystander watching them go by. I could not lose this chance of meeting my son. I started calling out his name “Leo! Leo! Leo!”

I was relieved when I saw him coming over to me. He held me tight and gave me the ‘Leo-Hug.’ It’s a unique bear hug that I know well from when he was here in person. It’s a hug filled with love and caring, transmitting the most positive energy.

Nothing was said, or, I should say, it was all said in the hug! Then I woke up. I found my two arms folded over my body like I was hugging myself. It was short but all real and vivid. I couldn’t have made up that feeling of being in his embrace and being loved unconditionally.

I miss Leo’s physical presence: his smile, his voice, his laughter, and just being together. My humanness misses those loving hugs. Ever since that dream visit, I have been asking for an encore. I was quite bewildered when I didn’t get it. That’s not like my loving and respectful son. In the meantime, we have been receiving signs and synchronicities on a daily basis proving that he’s closer to me and his dad than ever.

During the summer trip celebrating our 40th wedding anniversary, our son gave us a lot of signs and synchronicities validating his presence. I have documented that in “Harvest Moon Magic.” One morning, I was reading a poem and it reminded me of a photo that a friend had ‘randomly’ taken of me just the day before. I was raising my two arms up to the sky. I never had a picture like that. I had an epiphany! My son’s messages became all clear. He has been giving me hugs all along just like I have been hugging him.

“Mom, I can be with you anywhere and anytime. You are seeing all these tangible signs and synchronicities because I want you to know that I am around you.”

“Mom, I don’t have to visit you only at night in your dream state. You have always felt me and heard me during the day.”

“Never doubt!”

I have finally come to realize that Leo’s hugs have come to me in all forms and ways. The dog and the cat, the child, the dream visit, the memories and the photos.  We continue to love each other across dimensions. We continue to hug each other every time the thought arises. I only have to be aware! That feeling of being loved unconditionally, the warmth and the positive energy flowing through my human body!  Human words are inadequate to describe that divine love and do it justice!

Thank you, my Son❣️ How can I ever thank you enough for what you are teaching me! Our human body dies but not our consciousness. Life and love are truly eternal. We are always connected with the ones we love. My relationship with my son continues in another way❣️

Leo, We Love your Hugs and We Love You❤️❤️❤️

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